i know i shouldn't be blogging right now.. cos its monday tomorrow again.. having sales meeting once again.. sigh.. presenting the shitty sales result i have due to this economic downturn is really not what i like.. now i seem to undertstand myself in work slightly better.. if i wanna present.. i will wan to present the best tt i can achieve.. instead of these sloppy results... 2 more days marks the 3rd month of me starting my job as a sales engineer... 3 months yet somehow many pple ard me including myself feels that i've been here for half a year already... to many of those who asked me hows work for me... i noe my ans is usually disappointing... but since im good at describing things verbally..(irony is that im in sales).. let me type in my thoughts here...
i always believe that every single thing will have its good and its bad side... sometimes pple feel that what they do is bad.. because wat i feel is that they've ignored the good side... for my case.. of cos there is good n bad too...
let me start with the bad... of cos the pay is low.. with little benefits.. then its the sales portion.. being unable to bring in certain numbers makes me feel abit useless... not able to master the technical part of this shipping industry is also kind of demoralising for me... for me.. i hate to do something without understanding it... tho pple tell you to just follow.. but somehow there's no motivation.. it seems like you are jus a robot that carries out the programme that is set in you... it really makes me wonder when will the day arrive that i can manipulate my knowledge in this industry to come out with better ideas.. rather than following one way.. (something which i discovered abt myself aft i enter work.. i have a tendency to rebel than to listen)... n lastly.. its the trait of an SME... which is tons n tons of work tat is piling up for u.. u've been working very very hard.. but still.. these things just accumulate and grow by themselves.. (no wonder they say work can never be finished).. and sometimes.. you may feel kind of unjustified... why do these other pple seem to do lesser things than you yet you all are in the same post? and why do these pple do not get any scolding even if they choose to ignore?
k then to the good side of my job... seriously.. im glad that i've chosen my current company as compared to the other that i was considering abt... that particular step which i took.. i was proud of my decision... im happy with what im going now... i never thought that meeting customers is interesting.. or i can go out to meet clients... but somehow.. i qt enjoyed my first trip meeting the clients... it is the on-the-spot reaction that makes eveything challenging... how to win them over..how to let them trust you.. how to nego with them.. all these is really a test to your skills and if you are able to win it.. tt means your strategy is right... i guess i enjoy these kind of satisfaction... then.. besides doing sales.. im happy that my boss gave me the chance to think abt how to mkt our pdt to another mkt... revisiting the marketing text.. brainstorming how i can apply these ideas to the current situation is really another thing which makes me enjoy what im doin now.. and lastly... what makes me like this job is that i felt that my opinions are valued... in the sense that i can take charge of certain decision making and they take in my suggestions unlike those typical conventional boss who never listen to their employee... i guess im kind of lucky to have landed myself with these bosses because im one who likes to voice out my idea...
k end of these ramblings... i shd have gone to bed 1 hr b4... guess i will become a zombie again tml... tons of wk to clear too... sigh....
anw.. on a random note.. revisited the old class blog ydae... it has been dead since my last post in 08... pictures and everything was gone.. even image station has closed down... looking at the posts we put up that time... we sound really innocent ..guess everyone has evolved one way or another.. to the better or bad... pursuing different paths and different idealogies... im really glad.. that we have a chance to have these common memories together... i guess aft these years.. jc is still one of my memorable times i had back then... even when im old.. i think i will still recall the good old times back then... 2010... its already 7 years.. since i was wearing that dunman high uniform.. attending the orientation camp in hc... 7 years......is really not a short time.. n i guess i shd not always look back too much.. in case i forget the future...
it really took me awhile to realise that jc was freaking 7 years ago.. when we were wearing that brownish yellow uniform with our ankle socks... listening to jay chou's songs.. and checking out friend's blog for updates... sad to say most blogs are outdated for at least a year(mayb i'll turn out to be one soon) while some were actually deleted.. and so many things have changed.. oh my.. sometimes i really wonder why i really miss jc tt much.. seriously its much more than uni and sec sch... somehow
Hello 2010! yes the new year is here..so its time for some updates.. i usually like to go thru what i did for the past year during these kind of season.. and so.. regardless if anyone is reading this... here goes...
2009.. is indeed a very different year i guess... the year which i questioned myself abt my own capabilities.. the year which i really started to think deeply what i shd do nex and how i shd pave my career pathway... somehow i had a little conclusion of my own.. i hope that will work out somehow.. hehz
so the first half of 2009...got to know a bunch of new frens i can say.. moving out of the usual group in the first 2 years... i guess the two main modules are like design and my fyp... nothing much abt fyp.. i guess the second half of the year seems to be smoother as compared to the initial startup of the project back in 2008... design was fun.. when the two grps merge.. our grp tanya, hp, rhoda and of cos me.. merge with aw, charlotte, janice, marcus... and we also recruitted ml inside... the whole process was fun i say.. tho sometimes there can be small little arguements ard.. but tts for the good of the whole grp i guess... sometimes i really think tt certtain things are sort of arranged in a nice manner.. some pple whom u tot are not as nice to work with.. i was given the chance to noe them better by working with them.. its a good thing isn't it?
memories began to fade but seriously i cannot think of much significant things happened tt time.. perhaps its the badminton and nuaing sessions aft our project that were more enjoyable i guess...
then.. it was much travelling after the sem.. the short getaway with the design peeps to bintan... the beach was nothin fantastic.. bt what left me a deep impression is the night when we jus sat down by the pool.. gazing at the stars... the stars are really wonderful... which makes me think.. what i see everyday is actually this.. the light pollution in sg is really terrible seriously.. n of cos.. i saw my first shooting star... tt nite.. at the span of 3 hr... i managed to catch 7 shooting stars.. to the more observant pple like aw and dada.. think they've caught 14 or more... and of cos.. i made my wish... and one of them actually materialise.. but to the others.. hahaz.. somehow did not happen... i guess one can't be too greedy at times..
then it was our long awaited trip to aussie.. with kuan... seriously.. i nv thought tt this will ever materialise.. somehow trips discussed with frens do not materialise... it was a meaningful trip.. back then in 2002 we were telling ster tt we will visit her one day.. it seems like a childhood promise came true.. hahaz.. and so.. with some planing of the agenda.. and not much traveling awareness.. and social awareness... we set off for aussie.. despite our worrying parents due to the H1N1 outbreak in the world... so from sydney to goldcoast to brisbane to hervey bay to agnes water.. we started our trip for 18 days... tt was really the first time im away from hm in a foreign land.. the experience was great! especially to someone like me who does very little travelling.. the near subzero temperatures at blue mountains(i nv tot i will so hate the cold).. the winter wear.. the short day times.. the nice lake mckenzie at fraser island.. all these are interesting to a tropical child like me.. but sadly some of the times our mood were dampened by the few rainy days... especially when u spent qt a lot of money for the day trips n u ended up doing nothing... we'll go there again.. but tt will be in spring.. when kuan will be more active and us.. being less engrossed in keeping ourselves warm and moisturised.. =) and also.. it was due to this trip.. tt i got to know someone slightly better and i was grateful for all his help.. recommending places to go to.. the cheaper place.. and even digging out all his brochure, itinerary, maps from all the different places and pass it to me...it was really very nice of him to be so thoughtful to somebody whom he doesnt even noe well...
then.. back to sg.. it was the convo nite.. for one more time.. i felt the some kind of feel back in jc prom.. haha.. my grp of frens gathered at dada's place and we started with all the make-up and hairstyling... it was fun... nv tot tt these kind of experience will be back again... but the ball itself was nothing much.. boring i can say... jus phototaking ard.. n perhaps it was my heels tt are killing me.. which kill tt little bit of hype in me...
then its convocation... yes.. the day has finally reached... somehow.. wearing tt gown.. makes me a little stressed up that i walked the wrong way.. behind of that person aft receivin my cert instead of in front of tt person... my sincere thanks to tyy n mich who came down for me and of cos yiling whom could have left earlier after her bf's convo stayed jus to take a photo with me... n my parents.. not sure whether they are proud of me.. but im proud of them..hehz... for surviving and taking care of me until the very last phase of my education.. its time for me to repay everything to them from now on.... and of cos.. took a photo with somebody whom i had always wanted to esp during convo ball but somehow missed tt chance... tt feeling was qt happy for me.. reminds me of tt photo taking experience with somebody during prom in hc... hhaha..
then it was my sis's ROM...nv ever tot tt this guy will be my cousin in law... not tt he is a bad guy.. jus tt the tot of somebody so close to me getting married feels weird... but im definitely happy for her!! she is so pretty that day... and best is he's a nice guy... at least someone who is nice to old pple... this is very impt to me now.. aft i see how some pple treat my grandma...
and.. one of my bestest fren... one of those tt actually wondered if she will get a bf back in hc days... had ROM! it was a river cruise down the singapore river and undeniably.. she looks so happy and loved the whole day.. im really happy for her.. tt she found someone depend on... nearly cried when she signed the cert.. somehow or rather.. =)
then.. another of my bestie is attached... yes... aft so many years.. aft so many pple asked her why she is still not attached... she is attached... but she is one big sticky person tt i've met.. who says tt 1 year can only meet 4 times.. lucky i did not trust her at all.. hahaz
and.. towards the later half of the year.. it was qt a big struggle for me despite someof the happy things happen like the wedding of my sis n my fren(i used the term my fren cos we are not supposed to reveal her rom to anyone)... it was the tiring journey of job searching.... im not fussy at all.. the only thing tt i will not go for is a job as a financial planner... aft 10 interviews... 2-3 second round.. i was rejected all until the 10th one... seriously i got it because i think competition is low for this programme.. pple hate bonds.. which i wonder why... cos i always think 1 year is still too less to achieve a goal.. to value urself and prepare urself better for ur nex job... especially when matters of heart is always a zero for me... i will try to bluff myself tt my career will be a good one.. somehow things shd balance up one way or another... but still rejections n rejections.. time n time again.. i really cried.. cos there's nothing i can take control of besides preparing hard for the interview n apply for the jobs deligently.. sat newspapers are a mus cos of the wide range of jobs available in the recruit section... then aft much struggle...
aft much struggle.. i was offered 2 jobs at the same time neither of them related to my field of study sadly..analysing different factors and everything.. finally i chose something which i tot present better opportunities for me in terms of future job progression.. somehow.. i guess im right.. in a way.. despite i still have to do the boring things like churning out proposals n price setting..im given the chance to come out a marketing strategy for the various plans for the year... thinking back.. they really gave me what i said im interested to do during my interview... but somehow.. the irony is tt the person who interviewed me.. made me chose this company in a way.. left a few days ago... shall see how will the situation turn out to be...especially aft goin to the orientation course for the graduates in this course.. i can say im happy to stay here now... good bosses.. good exposure.. freedom to do the things i like..guess the only push factor will be low pay or employee benefits.. or.. i miss chem eng too much... but still i will stay to at least achieve tt goal which i had set for myself.. putting me in better position to progress further in the working world... my second career is a blank for me now... totally...
2009.. thinkin back.. is a year full of ups and downs... but im glad tt ive got to know more pple better.. like the vball snrs .. some are really nice pple to tok to and learn things from them... they are really helpful to u... n i've also felt tt little change in me... somehow i guess i've become slightly more extroverted... duno if this is forced out of me or the hc me is back... i dun deny tt the uni me seem to be more introverted somehow.. i guess i was abit tired aft everything in hc...
2010.. looking forward.. seriously i only see myself working n nothing else... forget abt getting a boyfren.. i guess its bleak for me now(n auntie gang pls stop sayin u all wanna intro this cambridge guy to me.. im totally not interested..).. yea so its work.. n attending pple's wedding n vball.... shall i aim for a driver's license too? give me 2 more mth.. when im more bored with wat im doing currently....
and... 2 of my darlings are leaving singapore... one is aining who is going to shanghai for work as an expat.. nv expected someone of our age to relocated so soon... the other is clarice who will be away from singapore for 18 mth...aft all her hard work.. she deserves this programme... hope tt everything will be good for her... thinking back.. i will seriously miss them n i shall buy a video cam and mic soon!
all n all.. hope tt 2010 will be a good year and shall prepare for work tml.. zzz another 5 days week...sighz...