technology has brought us nearer to each other.. technology has made pple more cold towards each other.. though they sound so diff from each other... but both make sense to me..
a call through the hp can simply make the distance to each other nearer..but a birthday wish through sms seems to be so unfeeling..it all comes from a single hp.. the technology tt we have now.. isn't it ironic?
it happens so tt i glanced through my inbox..yah..i was stoning away..tt's wat i will usually do..of cos.. i deleted some of the messages tt are not important.. then.. as i scroll down.. there are so many messages.. bdae wishes from the year before last year..messages which friends wishes good luck for all the exams.. messages that wishes best of all for the com.. messages that marks the startin of the year.. and messages that are meant to be treasured forever...
all these meant diff things to me.. some are heartwarming that really brings one up when i'm feeling alone.. some reminds me of the hapy things that happened around me.. and some.. though is just a forwarded message.. tells me that this particular friend still remembers me.. some.. of cos.. do not mean anything to that sender but to me.. is seemed to be a treasure that can make me happy of around a week.. to me.. everyone of them are so valuable..
but todae.. i stare at the screen of the phone for quite some time.. i m not dumb or too free.. i was just thinking what is the point of keeping the three messages..these particular three messages that meant nothing to the sender.. it is so casual.. nothing special at all..i laughed at myself.. i'm just a big joke.. for being so dumb and weird.. for keeping these three messages that are so perfectly normal and not special at all.. some things should just be forgotten.. actually there's nothing at all..how it started?? i don't know.. so i thought for a while.....a while....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~message deleted~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
should have done tt long ago... ya... no pt keeping it...
just went to tis website and got to noe that yanfang in jap is Manzo Katayama.. hahaha.. quite cute sia..
http://www.ninjaburger.com/fun/games/ninjaname/
whoa... one week neber update le.. hmm.. the past week is full of vball n thai noodle!! hahaha... cos every time after training we'll go n haf dinner one mah.. then too lazy to walk.. and only thai noodle is open.. so haf to go there eat lor,.. hahha... then since tt thailand invitaion vball.. i've been dreaming abt vball.. hahaha.. somemore the season haven start yet.. aiyoh... wonder how will i b during the season.. mon is the match against AJ.. S.T quek!! here i come!! hahaha.. waiting to play with them tomorrow.. haha.. must show them tt our vball is diff from theirs!! haha..
hmm.. but the past week is oso not very nice lah... haf to tell yit tt she is not in the main twelve..hai.. tho she said she is mentally prepared.. but still.. she is sad lah.. hai.. then think she cried alot of times.. yah.. but i dunno how to console pple one.. so.. can onli watch her helplessly.. then fiona.. felt sorry for her too.. tis year cca appeal is like limited to so little lahz.. in the end the gers onli can let yingyi in. sigh... its like.. indirectly cause her cannot go NJ which jiayan said was fio's dream jc... sorry tt i cannot help her... at first still tot tt she canmake a very good setter for tiger's year.. but now.. seems like they haf to get other pple.. sad...
but anyway..everything is over now.. there's nuthin for us to do.. but to look forward for the oncoming matches.. yup... must get into finals..hahah.. yeap yeap
wah..never update this for like quite some time.. hmm... well... how's hols? haha.. first half of the hols is like very slack lor... went to sentosa in consecutive two daes! haha..at first joel wanted to go east coast.. tehn he realise tt east coast got nuthing to do lah.. hahah.. tis is like so true lah.. so its changed to sentosa.. haha.. it rained rite after my training.. i was like.. wah.. sien.. really can tan lah.. hahah.. but in the end.. when we all reach there the rain has finally stopped! hahah.. not bad rite.. so the five of us just go to sunset bay lor... hahha.. ken n jc neber bring extra clothes.. so in the end onli joel ning n mi went into water.. hahah.. all of us are stoning lah.. its like we look quite out of place.. hahha... the water was so cold!! haha.. but it was quite fun leh.. then after tt we loan vball play.. the pperson cheat our money l0r.. sae wat loan then can get part of the money back lah.. in the endall of the ten bucks gone.. sianz.. but ok lah.. so we just like tt play vball... onli five of us.. ben ben de.. haha.. then we neber play for awhile.. realised tt the whole beach was empty.. hahha.. everyone has gone home le.. haha.. somemore not alot of pple there laio... so.. we just play n play until cannot see.. not bad lah.. neber plan anythign in the first place.. then it did not turn out to b sian..
oh.. so the nex dae... mi mich jarnei yy went to sunset bay again!! haha.. i haf to'act excited' hahah.. nah... felt quite ok... though it sound so weird lah.. sentosae in consecutive two daes... but tis time we all got no money left le.. so.. we decided to tan ourselves.. we just lie one the sand like the salted fish lah.. then let the sun do everything.. not bad lah... very long neber tan myself le.. but we are quite siao lah... we go up n tan.. then do into the water..up... n into the water.. its like so many times.. pple must be thinking tt we are crazy man.. hahah.. then huang chen at nite.. can feel tt i'm radiating heat lah.. haha.. almost slept durin the nao gui... paiseh ah.. too tired le...
then.. from thur onwards... we haf all the vball lah.. hahha.. bo bian..wei le champ.. haha.. afternon train le then go presby watch vball match.. our sing youth n nat team played against thailand under 18 champ.. wah.. the thais are so fast lah.. thought they are like so small... their bao fa li and the way they spike the ball is so diff from ours.. somemore they so young whoa.. the no.5 legendary chang ying pai.. hahah..spike the ball like no sweat lah.. the way she swing her hand is so fast.. n the no.3 set the ball so nice.. its like .. seh can gif any ball tt her player wants lor.. everywhere and so smooth.. must haf been practising alot.. o else wun haf the mo qi.. the 13.. subset...fast.. left hander.. also very qiang.. and alot alot more ..hahah.. the first dae liek very few pple watch leh.. but for fri n todae ahz.. its like more n more pple lah.. and everyone cheered for the thais.. their spirit is really good.. haha.. must learn must learn..
then we had frenly with vj rj in the morning.. banged into ah joy.. hahha.. her leg must b still very pain now.. hahha... bo bian lah.. u all must gif me more place to roll.. hahah.. i cannot stop lah.. the momentum is there.. hai.. but din do very well... have been spiking out and it seems like i cannot find the court.. wah sian.. duno wat happen.. then my first ball oso deprove le..hands keep moving.. then abit cannot control my movement.. hai.. how to play like tt.. or is it too much vball le? aiyoh.. its like all squeeze into three daes.. like camp.. somemore every nite watch match till 10 plus then reach home quite late.. then nex dae not much sleep then start training again.. aiyo... hopefully tomolo can rest more.. then can clear my mind too.. cannot let tis continue lah..
oh.. then ah wei n jiayan n peixian can come in by themselves! hahah.. yeappy.. ah wei no need appeal then no need worry abt her goin to other places.. wah heng ah.. or else haf to worry.. but ying n fiona haf to appeal.. wonder whether got enough appeal places anot.. dun scare mi leh.. aiyoh...i canot tahan da3 ji1 de... all the best to u two.. haha..
oh.. and happy belated bdae jarnei! so sorry... too much vball until abit luan. hahah.. then forgot abt it.. paiseh!!
wah sian.. today wake up at 6.30..just to reach the hougang bus stop at 8...in the end all are late sia.. kaoz.. especially tyy.. everytime gif mi the face like i should trust her... in the end she stil like tt late.. kaoz.. still dare to sae her bed very shuang.. wah liew.. and all thanks to her ideal plan sia.. 8 meet at bus stop.. eat mac until 8.20 then we take 10 min to walk to the sports hall... 8.30 the match start.. just nice wat.. really lahz.. thanks ah..oh cannot hor..wait pple sae i ba dao lehz... tyy.. u qiang lah
today watched the sarawak and our singapore youth team play.. hmm.. not bad lah.. the sarawak pple all can stay in the air.. hahaha.. all the teng kong thingy... i too fat le.. hahah.. cannot teng kong.. but i oso sian diao.. hahhaa... mebbe just one dae.. one dae.. i can stay in the air ba.. hahaha... tt will make a flying pig lah...then xiuyi sian diao.. hahaha.. all of us have gone crazy.. and tt zhang xin ze hor.. hahah.. heard tt he's quite pissed when he know we call him tt nick name.. hahah.. thanks lah.. seah chong wan.. too eng liao issit.. aiyoh..wait pple blacklist hc gers.. hahaha..
now i really feel very unsure of our standard leh... really dunno where is our level.. feel so insecure.. and just now saw the Aj frenly video.. we like no difff from tt time lehz.. no improvements for two mth lidat leh.. sigh.. why ah.. haiyo... our tt important factor still not strong leh... and its the most impt thing.. so jialat..
then hor..tt joel auw!! we all at first planned to go sunset bay on tuesdae to celebrate aining's belated bdae... and now.. he sae he dun wan to go!! kaoz... i've been thinkin of this since.. one week before block.. was so excited lor.. nan de can tan and we all neber meet for such a long time.. then now he just like tt sae ... spoil my mood leh.. hai.. suan le... hope it can still carry on as usual... duno abt him lah... hai..
It started from sec 2
from the irc which we used almost every now and then
the girl met the guy online
who is he she don know
but for one thing she is sure of
he is quite different from any other guys she have known
he has his own special way of seeing things
but somehow
though she enjoyed chatting with him online
she never frequents irc anymore
and so they lost contact of each other
only one thing she know is tt his class is somewhere in the school far away from hers
though its on the same floor
they are in two different worlds
two years later
when she went online
she decided to msg him
they exchanged numbers
it seems as if they have never chatted before
they still talk about lots of things under the sun
after a while he was disconnected like any other pple on the net
she thought that it was normal cos she also dc often
suddenly a message thru the fone came
"hey sorry i got dc.. will be back very fast.. dun go off first k... wait for mi.. will be back soon"
at that moment she think tt this guy is really special
they contacted each other very often
online.. thru sms
she found that he is quite unhappy with his life
disappointed with his friends..with his life
she asked him about the girl that he like
he did not want to talk about it
so she assume that he has got some bad encounter about tis
she really hope that she can help him out
not in terms of bgr
but make him feel more happy
let him know that in this world he is not alone
when she is bored
she will also ask him to go online and chat
he never fails to disappoint her
even durin some interclass games
she even ask him to come and support
he did
he told her that during breaks he feel quite lonely
cos he dun feel that he get alongs well with his friends
so she suggested him to go to library
at least can have the air con
that is also where she and her friends enjoyed their talking sessions
so he goes to the library
she was really surprised that he really goes there
cos he isn't the type that will frequent these places
so for around half a year
they exchange smses
once he even msg her to say it was his bdae during 5 mar
every morning they will message each other good mornings
they will talk about the work that they have
and through all these she feels that he has really high expectations of himself
and his father also puts in lots of pressure on him
she really wants to help
but somehow
they have never talked to each other in real life
not even a 'hi'
like any normal friend
prelim is approaching
everybody mugs
hoping to get good grades
she msg him as usual
but he never replies
its so sudden
that he become so cold
he still goes to the library
but he never studies
he only read magazines and chinese books
everyone told her that he is weird
even she is not sure what kind of person is he
from pple
she heard that he has become very stressed up
he has some problems
and that he became very inferior in his thinkings
then for a very long time she gave up messaging him
she knows that he wun reply and he may think tt she is so irritating
but when results for prelims came
she was quite happy with her results
though it wasn't very good but it was an improvement
she happen to see his results cos he sat at the row in front of her
he got very bad for his A maths
but it was what he has always been proud of
she saw tears rolling down his eyes
it is definite that he is so upset with his results
'hey.. how did u do for prelims?'
she decided to msg him for the last time
hoping that he will tell her
or perhaps can cheer him up for a moment
-no reply-
time just pass like that
for a while the big exam is over
she never sees him anymore
not even at the graduation ceremony
and she thought
its over
she dun understand why she is so concerned over a person she met online
is it she's too lonely
is it she really want to make more friends
or is it
she has began to like him
she heard that he has gone to a not-so-good jc
she felt quite sad for him but there's nothing she can do
but after the result for o
she heard tt he is finally in his dream jc
she was glad to hear all these
and she thinks that she should forget about everything
cos she is just a passer by in his life
not ever significant in his life at all
perhaps he has erased her number
forgotten who she is
and perhaps chatting happily with other pple online now
she deleted his number too
another year have passed
suddenly a message came
"hey darling..so good night ok.. take care my dear"
she saw the number
it is so familier but she dare not think about it
so she went to check the graduation book
yes
its him
but for that moment
she could not describe her feelings
he had accidentally sent the message to the wrong person
it shows that he has a girlfriend now
but it also shows that he has kept her number
she even thought of replying him and say 'hey u have sent the msg to the wrong person'
somehow she don't have the courage to do so
perhaps its better not to reply
perhaps just take it that she has forgotten him too
now she likes another person
why must he send this wrong message at the time when she is about to forget about him?
heaven must be playing tricks on her
on the eve of valentines day
while she was with her girlfriends shopping
they were having fun
cos of some silly things they did in school
then a group of guys walked passed them
the first one was her vball mate and so she waved hi to him
it was after a while
that she realise
behind that old teammate
is that guy she wanted to see for around one year
but she pretended that she don't remember him anymore
cos to her
its the best way out
and so ...it all seems like a dream to her ... a dream that she will never forget
I'm so bored!!! sigh today is the start of the hols.. and yet... i m at home... rotting!! at first we wanted to go sunset bay today..at least tt is wat mich and i plan before our maths paper.. then... cos of jarnei's energy leave ah.. we switch to gym...hmm...then after tt mich has training in the evening.. so its like.. it will be so tiring for her... hmm..so now.. i'm at home... dunno what to do... time seem to pass slower than the time during the block test.. thought tt it wil be the other way round..but i'm wrong..pengz... seems like everyone not free..think sharon neo got band.... xx got huang chen... mich.. yah..training... yy rotting at home too.. jarnei... her energy leave!! hai...so sian....perhaps worst come to worst... i just go n clear my room a...sigh.. wat a day... so EXCITING
Heyz heyz.. todae is the second last day of the blk test.. haha.. tomorrow is physics paper.. oh no.. haven started actually.. and now i am online.. haha.. terrible me.. but.. it seems like i got no interest left for physics.. dunno why..the thought of chan only makes mi feel more scared and not more motivated to study.. why? is it a phobia? hai.. who knows.. perhaps... i try to work harder for the second blk.. yah.. perhaps.. haha.. but nvm.. its the things tt is during the hols that make me look forward for each day.. hee... hopefully got pple pei wo go sunset bay this fri! hahaha.. can tan myself... then sat.. there's frenly with tiong bahru csc.. saw them played in the open tournament.. hahah.. the setter is not bad.. hope tt tis sat we can on form.. so can improve faster oso.. hee.. then.. thur frenly with peicai(tentative)... and yes! fri nite frenly with volleysports at shuqun sec! hahaha..i've been waited and waited for this day to come.. it'll definitely be so enjoyable.. with the number 12 there.. hahaha.. whom ah lim call her as 'monster'... i will surely love this game... cos she is my idol! hahaa.. another one beside xiuyi.. hahah.. so happy tt can meet her.. but hope tt we can play well.. or else she sian diao.. then look down on us sia.. heez.. tomolo is draw liao.. wonder who will we get.. duno what draw to pray for... if get all the not good teams.. it wil b so sian lahz.. then the whole tournament.. will be so slack.. i rather enjoy every game.. but if we get all the non seeded good teams like tj jj aj.. it will be a tough fight.. will we be able to pull through? i really hope that this year can get nat champ.. or perhaps top two first lah.. yah.. tt is wat i really wish.. cos its the last chance to get nat champ le.. missed nat champ durin c gers and last year.. so near yet so far.. will my wish be able to come true? hee.. no pressure on the my teammates lah.. its only what i wish for.. but the most impt thing is tt we can enjoy the upcoming games.. hee.. cos dunno whether will continue with vball in uni anot.. yup..
nex tue goin to sentosa with aining,joel,kenneth,juncheng... hahah.. not the hc juncheng and hc kenneth.. just in case u are wondering.. they are my sec skool pals.. yup.. gonna celebrate ning's belated bdae.. dunno what to get for her.. must put in more effort.. realised tt last time every year she put in lots of effort into my present.. but i like.. hmm... neber really put in effort...so sorry ger... hope tt it wun rain tt dae...then we can really ENJOY!! hee..looking forward to it.. then at nite can watch stars.. hahha.. tis outing is quite diff from our usual meet outs.. haha.. last time alwaes go seoul garden..eat watch movie... rot... shop.. so sian.. hahaha.. so its diff now.. hee.. yup.. so i should b off to study physics now.. hahaha.. but think i m goin to take a nap..hahaha.. two hours.. it wil b three when i wake up.. hahaha..see how lah...
what is yuan fen? haha.. feels so weird typing this in han yu pin yin...thought tt in chinese will be better..hee... have been wondering about this since...a very very long time.. hmm.. does this means tt its yuan fen when some of us meet in the same school? or is it one live in jurong and one live in tampinese also can meet at suntec? haha.. i sound like a child.. but.. this is the conclusion that i have came out with.. pple can live in the same area.. carry on their life as usual.. shop the same area, eat at the same food court and they have never met each other at that place for their whole life.. does this mean that they lack the element of yuan fen? is it heaven's will? i really wonder..
pple always say that things will turn out to be better if we express how we feel towards that particular person... but it seems like i see that person less... and it feels so awkward when i see this person.. why is it so hard for mi to smile at him after the incident and why we never ever say hi after that? i raelly miss that smile.. yah.. the cute smile that he usually has with him whenever i see him.. i may sound sick... but..it is how i feel.. how i wish that nuthin ever happen.. how i wish tt dae i just stone at joy's bench and do nuthin.... at least now i still can say hi to him like a fren and see him smile.. why is size such an important factor in terms of these things? is it my fault? i really do not know..am i really tt scary? i am not soft spoken like any other girls.. i may not be as gentle.. and i may not be as slim or at least small and cute like any other girls...so does this means tt i m scary? hao ba... na jiu suan le ba... ren ming le..
i remembered wat k asked mi tt nite.. what makes u like this particular person?got any happy moments u adn tt guy have together? i'm lost at tt moment.. i really do not know why.. it seems like i can't ans him at all.. even i dunno why... does this mean tt its not xi huan?or is it diff thinkings? is it true tt u have to know a person really very well then u can like hiM?
....i don't know....
sometimes a very small chat with ur old frens can be so heartwarming.. today saw chen de zhang at toa payoh int.. had a good chat with him sia.. last time used to be in the same class as him in p1 to 3..haha.. still can rem teh time when we have a buddy system.. at tt time my skool work is a bit better thean some of them lah.. then teacher ask us to teach them..still can rem he's got a special way of holding his pencil...haha..then at tt time he was a bit slower than the otehrs lah... hmm..then..after the chat with him todae.. found tt he changed alot..hahaha... hui da ban le whoa.. hahah... so happie for him...he look smarter too..then can interact laio..though still got a bit of symtoms of his stammering.. but its alledie bery good laio.. now he's in bedok ITE.. hmm..though it was a short tok... but i am really very happy..perhaps i haf neber talked to an old fren for a very long time? perhaps i raelly miss the past times...
yah... for a person like me... who have no pri skool frens go to the same sec skool as mi... staying in contact with old friends seem to be such a hard thing to achieve..yah.. especially all my kheng cheng frens... where are u all?? how have u all been? chew fong and xinning.. ni men hai hao mah? sometimes i really regretted going to dunman high.. yah.. if i were to go beatty sec.. i will haf stayed in contact with xinning..or at least..some of my 6.5 frens.. i really miss u guys.. even the old building is gone.. all that is left with me will only be those memories tt is in my heart.. still can rem the times when we played bball at the basketball court at teh CC along lorong 1.. the old stalls in the canteen.. and the times when we have to do duty together.. really had all the fun tt time.. yah.. and the work load is like.. hahah.. not even 1/10 of the work load now? haha.. yah..its true tt one has to grow up...will there b anyone tt can stop the time for me?? soemtimes i am really scared tt i grow old and become senile.. cos..this also means tt i will lose my memories of all the great times i had.. then i will be left with nuthin le.. if i go back to the new kheng cheng campus..will it lesson my pain of missing the good old times? everything have changed.. teachers have retired, frens are all gone, everythign seems to be so diff.. why does the place where i had my six years of education become so mo shen to me.. i really wonder why.. one of my greatest hope wil be finding my old frens back.. esp chew fong and xinning.. but... i am also afraid of meeting them again.. the sense of coldness when u are lost of words is so terrible.. its like.. i wan to talk to them..but i dunno how to.. it seems like we have nothing in common now to really discuss abt... tis is so ironic..
tommorrow is aining's bdae... hmm.. haven boguht her anything.. wat should i buy??seems like we neber contact each other for a very very long time too... quite scared tt we will turn out to b like mi,fong and xinning.. i really dun wish history to repeat itself... do i have i choice? hai...
Life iS sO bUsY thAt i hAve fOrgotTen hOw tO eXpreSS mysElf.. bUt dEeP dOwn... i wIll nEvEr eVeR fOrgEt a sIngLE pErsoN tHat hAve lEfT uNforgeTable fOOtprints iN my lIfE.. frens.. i rEalLY miSs yOu all!!
wah...so tired todae...though training is like..hahaha..something as slack as chalet like tt.. hmm...only the eight of us.. only self entertainment can help us out.. haha..bobian...block test coming...can't force them to stay for every training mah.. yah.. j2 quite impt.. haha.. then after tt stayed back to finsih teh physics pract... hahaha...still duno how to draw the graph lor.. haha.. resistance still can have negative value lehz.. hahha.. i sound like a mugger whoa... aiyah..bobian.. regretted a bit for not dropping physics.. now i'm still struggling... cos the root of the problem..which is physics is not solved whoa.. hai.. suan le... zhen de stayed in skool until ten just to finsih a pract...and its after training somemore... wei4 le physics... realise tt i m not zhou fang fang lidat.. haha... oh yah... and our dear tiger..(lingwei ah)... she ogt 9 pts and she wan to haf LEP with bio chem... seem to be quite hard leh... very scared leh... cso she seem to be quite determined to transfer to VJ if she cannot get into S7.. somemore... she dun wanna appeal leh... hai.. ah wei ah... she bu de ni leh... think u wun b able to read this.. but..yah... really wan u to stay alot... hai... pray hard that u can b posted here directly.. and got a class for u... haha..who ask u choose one combi so weird one.. bio chem LEP maths.. haha.. very hungry now... then had ice lemon tea just now... seems like its my old problem again... a little bit of tea can make mi hyper.. haha.. think i can'
t sleep well tonight again... bet tomolo i wil b a zombie again.. ahah..still got phy test leh... argh.. phy again..