gosh.. i nearly forgot how to log into this acct.. tot that i shd give some updates aft joy mentioned abt blogs ydae...
haven't been feeling good for the past week.. the contradiction between last weeks' mood and this weeks is really very big.. i really enjoyed myself during the chalet...
and once again.. something fatal/similar to the incident back in 2007 happened again.. thank you for the reply tho i noe you will never get to see this(or rather i hope that you wun see this).. but still i guess it affected me some sort.. been in daze lately and i find it hard to laff at something again.. despite carrying out a brave front.. deep down i guess i was still qt scared.. that i dun even dare to look at you for some time..
yes i noe.. its all 自找的.. actually deep down..since very long ago.. i knew its not possible.. if its possible.. it would have happened long ago.. but still.. that 'optimissitic' me have nv given up hope.. seriously i would have gotten deeper with all those times spent tgt..some of them were really qt nice.. tho i noe u din feel anything.. that feeling is jus not right..
maybe my definition of how a r/s shd start is totally wrong.. i guess i jus don't have that x-factor to attract any attention from anyone.. oh wells.. im prepared to walk this journey of life alone... perhaps that is what has been set for my life..